Friday, October 30, 2009

Forged Coupon Rewrite

A Good Deed Goes a Long Way

Albert Einstein once said, “The world is a dangerous place. Not because of the people who are evil; but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.” Often, people complain about something that makes them unhappy, yet feel they have no power to change it. Nevertheless, each individual has the opportunity to affect the world in a positive way. Like the old saying goes, “Actions speak louder than words.” When problems arise in a person’s life, he or she has just as much capability to fix it as the next person does. Those who have the strongest impact in society are the people who live out what they believe and what they want to see changed. Through Leo Tolstoy’s The Forged Coupon, individuals can trace how common people can positively shape the world.

Through Maria Semyonovna, Tolstoy shows how one person’s life can have lasting effects on many other lives. Because of Maria’s outspoken beliefs about Christianity and the Bible, her good message spreads throughout the community. She indirectly changes the live of Stepan, an ex-murderer, through Chuyev. In the jail cell, Stepan converts to Christianity and, “had been humble even before, but out of late both the chief warder and the orderlies, and his cell-mates had been struck by the change that had taken place in him” (67). He once was rebellious and wanted nothing to do with God, yet became a servant. With a new selfless spirit, and, “without any command, out of turn, he would perform all the most onerous tasks, including even the cleaning of the slop bucket” (67). One person’s actions start a chain of reactions amongst many people.

Tolstoy reveals how even a common person can make great changes in his or her community, as all people have the ability to touch others’ lives. In the novella, Maria positively influences Mitya, who was once a terrible person. Due to his haunting past, he decides it is time to turn his life around and mend his relationship with his father. Starting to mend their relationship, Mitya, “…decided to make friends with his father…And this father was surprised, laughed at him, but then of his own accord stopped attacking him, and remembered many, many instances where he had been at fault before him” (91). Through Mitya’s change of heart, his father’s attitude dramatically changes for the better.

A modern example of a person, who positively affects those around her, is Mother Teresa. She dedicated over forty-five years of her life to help better the lives of others. For over forty-five years she volunteered with various ministries and charities, helping the sick, orphaned, dying, and poor. With her gentle spirit and servant’s heart, she touched numerous lives. Never did her life revolve around herself, as she was determined to improve as many lives as she could. Mother Teresa knew that God’s calling for her life was to be a missionary, and she used her gifts to the best of her ability to help further His kingdom. When people saw what great work she was doing with the people, it encouraged them to go out into the community and make a difference.

Endless opportunities stand before those who choose to live their lives to positively affect the world. There is no age limit or certain criteria for a person to meet in order to help make this world a better place. Often, the people who think they are too young or insignificant eventually end up becoming great leaders of change. All humans have the responsibility to somehow contribute to the well being of others. God can use people in the most unexpected ways to bring a glimmer of His hope and love to His people. It only takes one person’s positive actions to start a chain reaction of change for the better.

1 comment:

  1. Jessica -
    Your rewrite is much stronger than your first version. Nevertheless, the second body paragraph contains several "content" problems. Primarily, the paragraph has a glaring inaccuracy (Stepan influences Mitya). The inaccuracy stems, in large part, from underdevelopment.

    You could have strengthened the third paragraph by giving some concrete examples.

    Avoid "There is" ...

    Again, much improved from first version ... thanks for your hard work,
    Gibson

    ReplyDelete